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| Page 3 of Cranberry Lynx |
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| "What’re you chewing your foot about?"
Wey asked Sunday afternoon. |
| "’Hole.’ My commitment to it. Crie.
His words spoke a pleasant thing, but the cheek twitch and purple tear
contradict.They seem to want to say something like "Hide from your
ugliness and kill your lovers." |
| "That’s insane." |
| "I know." |
| "What’re you going to do?" |
| "I don’t know. I need to analyze the script
more. Make collective decisions." |
| "Well, tell them what you need, and if they
disagree, quit and save your integrity." |
| "Yeah. I guess." |
| "Kiss me." Wey said. You did and you two
did what two lynx do. |
| |
| *** |
| |
| Monday, Crie and Jeb entered Nasoon's late. "Where’s
our tea?" Crie asked. |
| "Fix it yourself." Nasoon told him. |
| With a wry look at her he entered the kitchen. |
| "How are you, Catkin?" Jeb asked. |
| "Frustrated." |
| "About what?" Crie asked returning with
a glass of water for himself. |
| "This project. Look. I need to analyze the script
more before I continue." |
| "I don’t see why that’s necessary."
|
| "No. Crie. I told you what I need. If you disagree,
then I’ll quit now. Look. I’ll go outside for a minute while
you decide." You stepped out into the hall. Your thoughts wandered
to Gandhi and Hitler. Both wanted to change the world. One to Vegan, the
other to meat. |
| "Okay. We’ll do it your way. But, just
ask me all your questions." Jeb said stepping out to get you. |
| "Do you think that’ll work?" |
| "Yes. Crie’s very good. Remember he wrote
this script automatic from his subconscious. It’s a sign of genius.
He doesn’t need to go through this step. Just listen to me and everything
will be fine. I’m the director." |
| "Okay." You agreed.The thorn from the other
day stopped jabbing your throat but didn’t go away. You went back
inside. As you worked, Crie didn’t say a thing. He sat with his back
against the wall. You noticed his aura crawling out around him like varicose
veins. |
| "Okay, let’s meet at your place, Catkin,
on Wednesday to finish the second act." Jeb suggested half way through
the script. You agreed and left. |
| |
| *** |
| Tuesday you worked on Angel’s character. You
created a motivation for his act of murder, "Because I ain't go no
money, an’ no way ta’ get it, not even ‘nuff ta eat. Except
ta bow down ta’ some corporation’s hair cutting, self hate,
money slave whip, or kill this suit and tie, earth rapist, money grub
business, fuck Rom, take all his money, and some day when I’m rich,
and I got enough ta eat, maybe then I’ll live up to my name, Angel.
Until then society kills, and I’m with it." |
| |
| *** |
| |
| Wednesday the threesome showed up late. The thorn
twisted in your throat when Crie said, "No! No! No! Jeb. That won’t
do. That isn’t what Thindoll and Angel are about. They were stupid
empty people with no emotional truth or integrity." |
| The thorn wormed into your throat. You asked, "What
do you mean, ‘Were?’ Are Thindoll and Angel based on real people?"
|
| Cries cheek quivered. "No." |
| Jeb hissed and indicated to his cheek. |
| You continued, "Then what did you mean, ‘Were’?"
|
| Crie stuck a claw into his cheek to kill the quiver.
A thin ribbon of blood snailed down his cheek as he smiled contempt "I
don’t know." |
| In the rot purple of his eyes you saw a womyn like
Wey gagged and raped. The thorn swelled with rage and burned into a cranberry.
You spit the cranberry into your palm, smeared it under your eyes as war
paint, and spoke like thick burning rope, "Until you know what you
mean, do not say a thing." |
| His claws scratched into the chairs arms. He stood
with violence. "I have to leave." The door slammed behind him.
|
| "Let’s continue," Jeb urged, as he
wiped away a spot of Crie’s blood from the floor, smelled the napkin
and returned to his seat. |
| "Wait. Is this how it’s always going to
be? Crie not knowing what he’s saying and bleeding all over the place?"
you asked. |
| Nasoon explained, "Sometimes people clash in
theatre. Your resume suggests you know this." |
| You considered throwing them out. You looked to Wey.
She looked disapprovingly at your war paint. Maybe you were projecting
your own ugliness onto Crie. That happens sometimes. You didn’t say
a thing. You resumed working. After finishing you agreed to meet at Nasoon's
on Friday. She and Jeb left. When they were gone, Wey handed you a towel
and said, "I love you and your cranberries but don’t use them
for war." You wiped your eyes clean. She continued, "You owe
him an apology, even if he is meat." |
| "An apology?" |
| "Yes. You read me the qoute, ‘Apologize
for the anger you show. Justified or not. You deserve better things in
your soul than malice, even for the people who deserve it.’"
|
| "You’re right. I’ll call him tomorrow."
|
| "Are you going to continue working with him?"
|
| "I don’t feel like it, but I made the commitment.
We’ll see what happens after I apologize." |
| Wey hugged you. You hugged her back and said, "Thanks"
|
| |
| *** |
| |
| Thursday you called Crie. "I apologize for the
hostility I showed you the other day." |
| "Accepted" |
| "Thank you. I think, before we continue, we
need to agree on some things." |
| "Like what?" |
| "What you meant by ‘Were.’" |
| "I told you just what I meant." |
| "Which was the characters were stupid and empty
and had no truth, which must be their truth. But were they real people?"
|
| "You’re being absurd Catkin. Forget truth.
Just memorize the lines and say them and stop acting like a pathetic little
kitten." |
| A thorn returned to your throat. In the pause you
heard a small bite and scream. "What was that?" |
| "Stop being so pathetic." |
| "No. The bite and scream." |
| "Nothing. The TV. I have to go. See you Friday."
He hung up. |
| The thorn turned into a cranberry. You hung up. You
threw your copy of ‘Hole’ across the room into the empty chair
where Crie sat Wednesday. You smeared your eyes as you envisioned him
as Rom telling the audience, "Hide from your ugliness and kill your
lovers. And, you being stupid enough to be part of the play." |
| You leapt across the room with a terrific rage. You
grabbed his imaginary head and beat your palm like it was his face. "No,
you meat eater. It’s ‘Accept your ugliness and love yourself
and the world.’" The sting of pain in your hands stopped you.
You realized the madness you were practicing. You took a step back. The
adrenalin and rage and sadness of your misguided passion swelled in your
chest as you fought to remain calm. The redirection caused you to see
the room hugely bright and fascinating with the intrinsic beauty of reality.
This beauty was your God, your Goddess, your mythic IT. You said to IT,
"How can I be vegan with this violence? I can’t. Nothing can.
Even the plants I eat scream. Most people just don’t hear them. But
some faint when harm nears. And the best I can do is try."
The beauty around inspired a thought into your mind about how to make
Angel show a vegan integrity. You picked up a pen and began to write.
When Wey came home, you explained what you found, "Okay. In the moment
when Angel is about to kill Rom, he stops and feels empathy in the horror
in Crie’s eyes. His empathy causes him to think, "Just because
society kills, doesn’t mean I have to kill with it." That’s
good. That’s vegan. In that moment Angel can simply walk out, leaving
Thindoll and Rom to their own cruelty and corruption." |
| "I like it, but that’s not what Crie wrote."
|
| "I know. But he asked for help developing the
work in the beginning, and if this doesn’t work, I’ve tried
my best and I’ll quit." |
| "Do you think they’ll change the work that
much?" |
| "Well, as the thing is now, it’s not even
tripe. But I don’t know. We’ll see." |
| |
| ***
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Spoken Word 
